For me, 2013 was a year of huge changes and shifts in my life both personally and professionally.
When I began CreativeEdge, two years ago, it was out of a deep desire and equally deep frustration. I was constantly compelled to begin putting my energy work out into the public eye while at the same time feeling a horrible terror of being out in the public eye.
Just like when I defended my PhD in 2003, I was terrified that someone would really see me and in the process of being seen, I would be called a charlatan, a dummy or a fake. I wanted to stay hidden, protected in anonymity. At the same time, I felt the growing frustration of being anonymous, hidden and unseen. I was in the in between space where you recognize what you really really want is what you are equally really really terrified to receive.
In 2012, what propelled me into my public practice of energy work could be summed up in two points:
- I did not want to die and leave this on the table so to speak. I realized that I had to start this business and put all of my best efforts into this for as long as my body was on this planet.
- I no longer wanted to make decisions in my life based on fear.
In 2013, the evolution continued, as I worked on completing more certifications and moving my business into a greater public arena. I went to marketing workshops and challenged myself to work on things that terrified me, all for the purpose of growing my practice.
At the same time, I took the step of rescinding my contract as a high school vice principal and moved back into school counselling.
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| Photo by Jill Philipchuk |
In all of these changes, I am aware, that I am having to take the same advice and do the same work I ask my clients to do when they bring the courage to lie on the massage table and come to grips with whatever keeps them from being their whole self.
I am doing the work with you. I am working at removing those very obstacles I claim the energy work helps bring into your consciousness. I regularly receive energy work on myself. I am as much a client as I am a practitioner and I can honestly say that 2013 has been one of the most terrifying and freeing years of my life.
My hope is that my own process will only strengthen and improve my role as an energy worker. My hope is that 2014 will continue the journey of my freedom and fearlessness.
And that would be my wish and prayer to all of you too. Happy 2014. Love, Light, Peace and Freedom to you all.
What an inspiring post Emi. It certainly sounds as though you've gone on a huge journey, both personal and professional, but that this journey is leading you towards a new life of confidence where you can really make a difference.
ReplyDeleteYour comment about not wanting to be 'exposed' in defending your PhD resonated with me, and I'm sure I will feel similar emotions when I (hopefully) defend mine in a few years. Your story also made me reflect on my own journey over the last ten years, from someone who had real confidence issues and difficulty in talking to new people to someone who is now able to stand up in front of a room full of people and lay themselves bare. I'm increasingly aware of the value of being able to put 'ego' aside - although ego is normally associated with over-confidence, my experience is that it can also make a person overly fearful of the opinions of others. For me, mindfulness meditation has been a great help in achieving this transition as it has helped me identify the power of the subconscious in dominating our conscious lives, often by telling us that 'we're not good enough' or 'we can't do something'. Meditation has enabled me to sidestep these negative thoughts and embrace the power of saying 'yes', and of removing those obstacles that you refer to in order to believe that anything is possible.
Committing to a life where decisions are not taken based on fear is a hugely positive step. We have so much to give as humans, and often we have so much in common with each other - but we are fearful that we are so different from everybody else. Taking steps to reduce the effect of fear in personal decision making will almost certainly lead to a happier and more empowered existence.
Here's to a happy and fulfilling 2014!
Thank you for the love and encouragement in your words Tony. It will be a life long journey for me to continue to let go of all the illusions of ego and suffering that I so carefully protect. I look forward to the continued practice of mindfulness, meditation and letting go of the illusion of separation and the ultimate freedom these practices bring.
DeleteHere's to living a fearless 2014 and looking forward to more of our collaborations Tony!